“We don't need to follow prescriptions to be pure angels, or wild rebels, wearing capes, riding tigers and copying other guides - or partaking in other 'quick fix' strategies - to become successful healers.We must be everything we are. The beautiful, paradoxical soft, wild magic of our truth - we can be it *all.* There's no choosing between seemingly opposing aspects of ourselves.”
- Nicole Barton
We often begin a journey into opening to our magical gifts with a 'perception' of what it looks like to be a "healer" - and some fear about 'belonging' in that community.
There are so many 'quick fix' narratives out there to reinforce that there's 'one way' - a way that we have to be, in order to 'belong' in the world.
It's conditioned. Perhaps it is even a story of: "Don't be a healer/witch at all, that's "too woo'" - as we find ourselves donning our corporate mask one more time to fit in, or contorting ourselves into a life we no longer fit in, so that we stay safe. Not really knowing *where* we fit any more.
And we're so used to doing that, that even when it comes to owning the title of 'healer', we begin to imagine that maybe we don't even fit into the 'healer' box that the constructs of our minds have created.
We wonder, "what if I don't fit there, either?!"
I used to channel poetry and today, out in the woods, She-Wolf had me reclaim this lost part of my soul expression... So....
Introducing my new poem, 'Phosphoric Woman'...
Sensitive woman,
You weren't born here to play 'small.'
You are made of Phosphoric fire and moons:
You are a beautiful, glorious, messy paradox
of roses and she-wolves.
“Highly sensitive and magical souls – who actually have the power to heal themselves (and are often the ‘secret healers’ of the world) – often spend years seeking fixes externally, thinking they need others to heal them. In their feelings of brokenness, they begin to innocently ‘outsource’ their healing power..”
~ Nicole Barton
We are so delighted to share a feature we curated for Kindred Spirit Magazine all around how to work with Archetypal Remedies for Deep Self-Healing 🌙🐺🌹✨
“Bone by bone, hair by hair, Wild Woman comes back. Through night dreams, through events half understood and half remembered...”
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves
Years ago, I was not living my unapologetic wildest dreams and desires as a healer. I didn't even resonate with the idea of being ‘wild’ (quite honestly, the idea terrified me).
There were lost pieces of my wild soul, wounded and shattered, hidden out of sight in my ‘shadow bag’ of wounding, that I’d suppressed and shoved behind me, never to be seen again.
Secretly, I deeply feared *rejection* and I felt *unworthy* - inside and out. I was full of shame.
‘It may be the first day of your life, the prime of youth or several decades in, when Medicine Woman calls you. Your name on her list. Her new initiate. She crept in whilst you were sleeping, when you over-exerted, when you kissed him, or ate that, or lived there or pushed too hard just one time too many. She crept in and curled up in your cells, your heart, waiting to meet you. Longing to know you. Longing for you to know her, at last.
And what feels like the end is in fact a beginning, of a new road, an unknown path of pain and healing. She will show you how to slow down, she will run her fingers roughly through your life and help you sort the busyness from what matters, she will show you how to find support… and who you really are, beyond your roles and expectations… and even more beyond the System the world has forced you into. She transports you into the timelessness of big pains and tiny joys. Initiates you into your strength. Into your love. Into your courage. Into a world beyond your control.
She has sent me an invitation. I see yours too, tucked in your bag, amongst all the receipts and bills, the pens and detritus of life. Take it out.
It is time.’
~ Lucy H. Pearce
Hello, sensitive soul,
One of the common fears that can come up when we contemplate a journey into our self-healing and more meaningful gifts is the idea that we will be judged as ‘selfish’ for creating time and space for ourselves (I was contemplating that this may be showing up for women this Easter holiday, so if that’s you, I feel your heart so deeply).
There’s often the deep fear of ‘what will people think of me if I choose this journey of healing myself and opening to my healing gifts?’ - alongside a simultaneous ‘knowing’ that you just can’t keep carrying on juggling ‘all the balls’ anymore, and that you’re being called to be more true to yourself and carve out time to honour your needs and desires (and who you really are).
‘And the real medicine is learning to love those aspects of ourselves back home, and welcome the parts of ourselves that we have shamed and judged and rejected (aka to ‘self-heal’). ’
- Nicole Barton
Hello, sensitive one,
Do you ever feel the deep fear and shame at the idea of peeling back your mask and revealing your authentic self? And does that stop you fully opening to your healing gifts? Perhaps you fear “what will my partner think? What will my friends think? What will my parents think, if I open to a more magical, meaningful purpose?”.
I so feel your heart, beauty - and I know how tender it can be to even open to a journey of reclaiming our true, authentic selves, when we’ve spent years ‘fitting in’.. Your scared heart is so welcome here.
I remember a time when I simultaneously deeply longed to follow the nudges of a deeper soul calling I had to a more meaningful purpose and life, yet deeply resisted opening to my gifts as a healer, because I felt that my deep sensitivity, my natural (‘woo’) self and my true emotions were ‘too much’ and would be rejected and shamed - by my family, friends or anyone who I told.
‘My point of view is that what it really means when we have some fears is that we are just on the cusp of actually beginning to see what IS true for us - and that there’s just a bit more healing to do - of our wounded inner healer (who fears losing approval, bless her heart). It’s really just a deeper call into healing ourselves (which is what our Archetypal Apothecary modality is all about - especially the first layer of SELF - OR ‘SOUL’ - HEALING). ’
- Nicole Barton
One of the deep fears that the beautiful, sensitive women who are called to journey with Archetypal Lupa is that they find themselves stuck in wondering:
“What will people think of me if I become a healer? What if people judge me? Can I really do this?”
And oh my heart, I so feel you in this one, if this is you, beauty. I know how the fear of losing a p p r o v a l can stop us from even ‘accessing’ our deeper wisdom and wilder dreams and yearnings for a more meaningful life, living our soul purpose.
‘Archetypal Lupa - or She-Wolf - offers an energetic ‘permission slip’ to be our true, authentic selves. To begin to reclaim the parts of our soul that have been lost to this wounding of ‘not enoughness’ - the fear of judgement and rejection, the fear of being ‘outcast’ as a lone wolf, especially for being our true selves. ’
- Nicole Barton
Oh, how I know you may resist that label of ‘wild’ (maybe it’s terrifying) - and maybe it also somewhat excites you too, deep down…
I so feel your heart, because that was once me. I was contemplating the other day, how I used to feel totally the opposite of ‘wild’ - I felt caged, trapped and contained, not ‘free’ and ‘fully expressed’. I felt stuck in a dull, grey mundane life - a life I just didn’t feel fulfilled in. I see now, I was the Archetypal “Good Girl”; I lived my life in fear of judgement and rejection, seeking approval, sticking close to the conditioning that ‘success’ looked a certain way, and that I had to ‘fit into’ that. And, in contorting myself this way, I dishonoured my ‘No’ and shoved down and shamed my true authentic self-expression, keeping myself small.
Of course, I knew somewhere, deep down, that I had ‘wild’ emotions - sometimes rage or deep emotional outbursts - but I shamed these ‘wild emotions’ as ‘too much’ (whilst feeling ‘not enough’) - feeling like the ‘weird’ one, who couldn’t just be ‘normal’ like everyone else and contain my raw feelings.
‘The world needs the unique Remedy you’re here to offer.’
- Nicole Barton
Will you come on a journey with me? Imagine, just for a moment, that you step out of the life you are in right now - you’re just 3 years older, wiser, more expressed, and you’ve been on a journey of initiation into the woman you long to become.
You’re now what people would call a ‘medicine woman’ - a true healer. You’re a woman who has been into the depths of her own wounds and learned to alchemise them into gold - and you’ve gained the kind of embodied wisdom and beauty that you see in women who have crinkly foreheads, and kind eyes. You’re an ‘old soul’ kind of medicinal one, a sensitive one, who knows and embraces her uniqueness.
“We all want the alchemical gold - yet very few of us are prepared to do the necessary deep work to lovingly reclaim it from within the darkness... This January, I share how we can harness Archetypal Remedy ‘Aurum’ (Gold) to truly reclaim our power to kick-start your New Year - if you are feeling courageous enough for true, loving healing…”
- Nicole Barton
We are so delighted to share a feature we curated for Kindred Spirit Magazine all around our Archetypal Apothecary Remedy Aurum 🌟✨
We all want the alchemical gold - yet very few of us are prepared to do the necessary deep work to lovingly reclaim it from within the darkness... This January, I share how we can harness Archetypal Remedy ‘Aurum’ (Gold) to truly reclaim our power to kick-start your New Year - if you are feeling courageous enough for true, loving healing…
"The real truth is, our work in healing is never done. If you keep going with 'quick fixes' you will forever need a guide, yes. In the Archetypal Apothecary path, though, I'm teaching you to own your POWER to *heal yourself.* That might take a little longer to learn to begin with - but then you've got your *own tools* for a lifetime - and you know your power to use them."
~ Nicole Barton
I was having a rich conversation with one of my previous guides, and now dear friend, Lian a little while ago, in which we were talking about what had unfolded since I had a shamanic healing with her.
I've been in the deep work, since the healing, of reclaiming a lost part of my soul from young adulthood - and I have found myself being nudged back to old commitments from that time, including movement, yoga, music and horse-riding.
And what stood out in our conversation for me was something I've been saying for a while about how healing isn't something to 'go to someone else for' and expect a "quick fix"; it's about learning how to *integrate* what comes up in our healings for ourselves.
"Now, it is an embodiment practice that I recommend to all the women who walk this path - because we can harness this art to embody the woman we want to become. I often invite women to adorn themselves with something that represents the Archetypal Remedy they are working with, for example Gold jewellery for Aurum."
~ Nicole Barton
Do you shame your powerful Feminine full expression?
I have changed somewhat in how much of the 'glamorous' side of me I'm willing to express - even in what could be seen as 'mundane' situations.
I wore this to visit a potential school today, to decide about where and when to send Miss L for her education. I realised, as I went out the door, that most people probably wouldn't wear a beautiful white fluffy coat (from the moment I put it on I felt magical) and bright red lips to such a mundane event. I most certainly wouldn't have done in the past.
And though I was always actually raised to wear 'pretty' dresses (and not jeans because they weren't 'Feminine' - I specify that because the appreciation for Feminine beauty in early life is actually quite a rare experience, and part of my gift) - somewhere in life, I learned to *shame* the part of me that loved Feminine glamour.
"I myself used to suffer with deeply debilitating womb pains and endometriosis, and I've also been through much womb trauma (my baby's birth a great example). Each of these initiations has revealed something of my gifts, shown me the way back into my body and helped me learn how to heal myself by honouring my true Feminine soft-power nature. "
~ Nicole Barton
We are taught to look at 'symptoms' as things that are “wrong” and need "fixing", in our modern culture.
I don't see it this way - and sometimes, I forget how radical my magical worldview is. I forget to point out what is obvious to me, yet rarely seen by the rest of the world.
Because my worldview is that any "symptoms" are messengers from the body.
From our *intelligent* bodies - which hold a deep and ancient wisdom of how to heal innately.
We are just so used to outsourcing our healing power in this modern world - to doctors, or things that numb, drugs, alcohol, TV, sex, work - that we don't see this truth that we can heal ourselves.
My worldview is that 'symptoms' are our initiations back into our self-healing power.
"Often the time, energy, financial, spiritual investments of healing will look huge - yet it’s the (often invisible) costs of NOT HEALING that often go much deeper, to the bone."
~ Nicole Barton
I was feeling heartbroken the other day.
It might seem like a small thing, but I had the most beautiful deep earthly-green ancient victorian homeopathic medicine bottle, that I’d bought myself to honour and celebrate my rebirth of Archetypal Apothecary. It was deeply symbolic and meaningful to me, despite not costing a lot of money. I’d had a Rose in it, the entire journey with Archetypal Rosa recently, which felt symbolic of the Remedies being part of the bottle.
And my baby girl smashed it, whilst playing. Cue all the emotions around it being broken - anger, grief, applying meaning about what the symbolism was. I was raging inside, and sobbing, though I gave Lily a cuddle through my tears and told her it was all ok (thank goodness for this healing work).
My inner child instantly wanted to ‘fix’ it, but the right hand corner of it had shattered into tiny shards; it couldn’t be glued.
"There's no greater privilege than to become who you truly are"
~ Carl Jung
One of the ancient healing wisdom bodies of my Archetypal Apothecary healing modality is homeopathy. It's a medical system that I was born to serve in this lifetime, and I've witnessed healing miracle upon healing miracle with its magic - both for myself and other women.
I no longer serve homeopathy traditionally - I serve the remedies as Archetypes - yet it is a deep part of my lineage, providing healing on a deep level and also providing the foundational technology I harness to map out a woman's soul plan. A soul map helping women understand their natural make up, their soul gifts, and the wounds they need to heal in order to fulfil their potential and live their purpose.
And one of homeopathy's most important principles of 'similia similibus' is woven right through my path.
“This is why healing the Feminine is our most important work. As women and as healers. It's both for us - and for the future generations - and for the loss of Ancestral feminine wisdom body that we have created, without meaning to - because we outsourced our power to the medical science that over-rode our deep innate knowledge.”
~ Nicole Barton
I don't often speak to the 'Ancestral Layer' Archetypal Remedies of our path, but they're a big part of our Soul Map - they are one of the 4 layers of Remedies that women need to heal in order to live their soul purpose (especially as healers).
You see, all cultures at a moment in time have their 'wounds' - ancestral wounds ('miasms') that are passed down in our DNA through epigenetics. Medicine women have always talked of 'ancestral healing' yet modern science itself didn't know, until fairly recently, that epigenetics explained this ancestral piece. Science recently discovered that what we do in our lifetime altars our DNA, which explains why what our ancestors lived through shows up in our bodies - even generations down the line.
“We are all walking around with our own unique collection of Archetypal Remedy "wounding states" that want to be worked with for healing. And so the first choice is, as healers, which 'layer' of remedy do we serve? Some will be more 'surface' layer than 'deeper' layers (read my article on Hering's direction of cure) - and these surface layer remedies are usually the ones that need healing first, so we can slowly and gently open at our soul's pace.”
~ Nicole Barton
One of the things I teach healers to do, deeper in the path, is how to read and match people's energetic "potency" when they are serving their unique remedy.
And this is *beyond* important.
Because, though many of the 'quick fix' approaches to healing (innocently) teach 'one size fits all', not everyone's healing is linear and requires the same remedy and potency.
“Because the body is more clever than we know. It will reveal to us where our healing lies. And it will do so at the pace we are ready to journey.”
~ Nicole Barton
Sometimes when I talk to women I can predict - just by knowing their Archetypal Remedy constitution - their natural physical health patterns through life.
"Oh, you experienced a lot of tonsillitis, or chest infections?" I could have told them that, just by knowing that they liked ice cream, feared the dark and had big eyes and deep sensitivity (all elements of Archetypal Phosphorus).
It sounds weird, I know, but each Archetypal Remedy will have its own unique set of physical health patterns (which is something that's unique about the way my modality works, as archetypal psychology alone lacks this physical map).
“I didn't know it then, but this was my body calling me to listen - to hear something important of my soul.”
~ Nicole Barton
I spent a good chunk of my lifetime contorting myself into boxes - trying to fit in and be 'acceptable' to the world, putting on a mask of 'perfection,' and particularly ignoring my sensitive needs in case I was seen as 'too much'. My deepest fear was abandonment, after my dad left, age 4, and I did everything I could to stop that happening again (including denying my healing gifts for a long time after I was called).
And that trying so hard to be 'loved' had me, on several occasions, burn out, into complete exhaustion, with mysterious womb symptoms, tension, and tightness in my body, deep anxiety and overwhelm.
"One of the clearest ‘markers’ of a ‘wounded healer’ is that she’s usually someone who has had an unusually extra-ordinary level of pain and wounding in her lifetime - which is actually a deep sign you are this particular archetype, and are being called to her healing. ”
~ Nicole Barton
I was speaking to a very special soul-sister the other day and we got talking about the Archetype of the ‘wounded healer’ (you know I love archetypal psychology, given it’s 1 of 3 ancient wisdom bodies of our Archetypal Apothecary path).
It got me thinking about how some women who feel a deep call to this path can have a clear knowing they are here to heal others (even though that largely feels terrifying when they first feel the call) - and yet other sensitive souls just know they feel a deep call to heal themselves and discover their purpose.
It occurred to me (with my soul sisters’ beautiful reflection) that the Archetype of the ‘wounded healer’ explains exactly why that is - because many of us are walking around as unconscious ‘wounded healers’ - including those who aren’t actually “healers” in helping professions.
So, who are the wounded healers?
"The Secret Witch didn't come here for a mundane life...”
~ Nicole Barton
It might sound a strange thing to say but my wedding, in my previous marriage, was a huge trauma for my sensitive soul - one that actually, at the time, had my soul bounce out of my body, because I didn't know how to regulate my nervous system back then and tend my little girl. One that had me deny my sensitivity and magic, and power, in order to stay safe, in control and approved of.
I remember being told by my in-laws-to-be that they "didn't like me, but they'd try", as my then partner apologised to his father for me asking for everyone to get along. My "witchiness" wasn't really welcome, my magic and my voice described as "weird" and my power having to be given up in order to fit into a family where men made all the choices (I later saw how I'd created this, that's one for another day).
Some women would have batted this off, but I was sensitive. My heart breaks, when I think back, for the younger version of me who simply hugged them and thanked them for "trying" to like me, and strived to do more to be loved and worthy and fit in, whilst she felt like she was out of her body, watching over as it all happened - literally having an "out of body" experience.
"A healthy woman is much like a wolf: robust, chock-full, strong life force, life-giving, territorially aware, inventive, loyal, roving”
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés
We are so delighted to share a feature we curated for Kindred Spirit Magazine all around our Archetypal Apothecary Remedy She-Wolf 🐺✨
We all know Clarissa Pinkola Estes' work with the Archetype of the wolf is hugely impactful, and working with She-Wolf (or more specifically with Archetypal Remedies, 'Lac Lupinum' - She-Wolf's milk) helps us to reclaim our inner wild woman wisdom.
This is magically timed as, in our recent group journey with Archetypal Rosa, the reclamation of our wildness made itself known as both a desire and medicine needed in the world - and I had no idea this would be the case when I wrote this article.
"But more importantly, there's a practical way we can learn to tend ourselves in the fears that *will* inevitably arise along the journey deeper - and that is the work of learning to have self-compassion, love the parts of our little girls that are trying to keep us safe.”
~ Nicole Barton
How to tend the fear of healing yourself and choosing a more meaningful, soul-led life of *more* purpose...
One thing I hear the most from women who are feeling the call to healing themselves magically and creating their lives differently - perhaps opening to their deeper sense of purpose and meaning, or some secret hidden healing gifts they sense they have (but feel terrified of) - is that of "can I really TRUST magic?"
There's often a preference for ‘logic’ in these women - and an (understandable) resistance to trusting the unknown.
"Healing isn't something to 'go to someone else for' and expect a "quick fix"; it's about learning how to *integrate* what comes up in our healings for ourselves.”
~ Nicole Barton
I was having a rich conversation with one of my previous guides, and now dear friend, Lian yesterday in which we were talking about what had unfolded since I had a shamanic healing with her a few months ago.
I've been in the deep work, since then, of reclaiming a lost part of my soul from young adulthood - and I have found myself being nudged back to old devotions from that time, including movement, yoga, music and horse-riding (see her post about devotion in the comments).
And what stood out in our conversation for me was something I've been saying for a while about how healing isn't something to 'go to someone else for' and expect a "quick fix"; it's about learning how to *integrate* what comes up in our healings for ourselves.
"This work with Archetypal Remedies is the work of two of the most powerful ancient wisdom bodies I know of, working in union. It is a potent unity of the work of Homeopathy combined with Jungian Archetypal depth psychology. Two of the most powerful ancient wisdom bodies helping you to unite with your soul and *become* a medicine woman - firstly for yourself, and then for others.”
~ Nicole Barton
I was struck this morning at the reminder of the level of courage that's truly required to walk the path of magical healing - for both personal healing and the path of becoming a healer (which are really one and the same).
Often, women arrive at the path of magic after an initiation of health of some kind - whether physical, mental or emotional - where they've struggled to create any long-lasting change within the mainstream medical system.
And I know in my bones that 'The Way' for these sensitive ones is always to be found in magical healing.
"Because the truth is, these fears are not signs that you're not meant to be a healer, teacher or guide; they are signs that you're *absolutely* meant to be a healer.”
~ Nicole Barton
I remember the feelings that came up when I first truly began to feel and let myself acknowledge the call to becoming a healer, teacher and guide.
I remember the terrifying fear of not being 'good enough', of feeling like if I stepped in, I'd surely fail. I remember the fear of judgement - the anxiety that if I honoured this strange call to more magic (which I couldn't even really trust myself to know if it was even real), people would think I was mad.
"If your soul is calling you to this path, listen to it. Follow your heart - your soul knows. You can create your soul desires. And you are worthy of creating your soul desires. You're worthy of this support."
~ Olivia Roff
Is your own worthiness getting in the way of you becoming a healer, teacher or guide?
One of the most common objections I hear from my women is their deep sense of unworthiness to soften and live from soul, and step into something more meaningful and magical. They often feel they are here only to live life for others, rather than to create their dreams. I know this one well, because I have struggled with feeling worthy in my own journey, and I know how hard this particular fear can feel to choose past.
" I am here to help you create a life that is in total soul alignment with the healer, teacher or guide you were born to be - and ironically, I see that creating abundance happens as a direct consequence the deeper we step into alignment, but it’s a byproduct and bonus of the deeper richness of truly living your purpose."
~ Nicole Barton
"But I can't" = a call to your magical power...
Musings on the common money fear magical women who are here to be healers, teachers and guides often feel…
I hear so many women say "I feel so called to this... But I can't". And oh my heart do I understand that feeling more than you could believe.
I've felt the lack of possibility, the hopelessness, the trappedness in my life. I've felt the lack of belief in my own power. I've felt the mistrust in life and the need to micromanage and stay as I am. I've felt the tension, the tightness of the contraction.
And sometimes I still do.
"I had no trust, back when I had a paralysed face, that I could heal myself (even though I had done it before, a million times over, and healed others) - and yet, taking the deepest plunge yet into trusting my body wisdom, even when it was terrifying had me not only heal my supposedly ‘incurable’ face, but it was also the initiation that had me discover my deepest purpose… These portals often are."
~ Nicole Barton
Unfurling into our body wisdom... 🌹💃
Today, I remembered back to a time three years ago when, despite having a great deal of wisdom about listening to my body (it’s been a lifetime’s initiation for me), I was still unconsciously choosing to ignore it - and it left me with an entirely paralysed face on the right side.
It was mid-pandemic and I was about to give birth and I’d been pushing and forcing my way through life, despite knowing that there was a deeper intelligence to life - a universal wisdom in my body - that was growing my baby.
I was still ignoring the wise nudges of my body saying “slow down, please”. And because of that, my body manifested numbness (quite literally).
“I realised I had some resistance to showing up as the tender, soft pinkness of the Rose, because when I started this journey into my power, I rejected parts of myself that I called "Pastel Swan" - for the parts of me that were wilder. And this week, I realised - I am the union of them all. And even Rosa herself is the alchemy of her seeming opposites of thorns and softness, into a third way. “
- Nicole Barton
I've been feeling a lot recently into how soft and gentle Rosa's energy feels - and how different she feels to some of the other "faces of the Feminine" Archetypal Remedies we serve. Shes vastly contrasting to Naja's fierce truthfulness, and she will feel different again to Luna's magic and Aurum's power and She-Wolf's wildness.
You see, each of the Archetypal Remedies we serve in this path have their own unique medicine.
Their own personalities. 🎭
⚡ And each of these Archetypes is within us already - awaiting our activation and invocation.