Ep 138 - How to reclaim your inner 'people pleaser' - and rewild your soul

with nicole barton

On the Secret Witch Show today, Nicole is exploring the hidden wound beneath people pleasing - the tendency to abandon ourselves in order to keep everyone else safe, comfortable, cared for, or happy. Through the lens of the Secret Witch, the Healer Wound, and the archetypal medicine of Rosa and She-Wolf, she explores how many women learn to become responsible for everyone except themselves. Drawing on a powerful personal realisation from motherhood, Nicole reflects on how fiercely she protects her daughter’s rest, wellbeing, and aliveness - and asks why it can feel so much harder to offer that same protection to ourselves.

In this episode we explore how ‘people pleasing’ is often not a desire to be liked, but a survival strategy rooted in belonging, safety, and over-responsibility. Nicole speaks to the Secret Witch's tendency to become the helper, healer, rescuer, emotional caretaker, and peacemaker - carrying burdens that were never hers to carry in the first place. She explores the hidden cost of self-abandonment, the relationship between people pleasing and burnout, and why so many women become disconnected from their own needs, desires, limits, and truth in an attempt to care for everyone else. Through the archetypal medicines of Rosa and She-Wolf, Nicole explores what true rewilding looks like - not becoming selfish, hard, or uncaring, but reclaiming the fierce Wolf Mother within who knows how to protect her soul. This is an invitation to stop earning belonging, stop carrying the world, and begin offering ourselves the same devotion, tenderness, protection, and fierce love that we so naturally offer those we love.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

The Secret Witch's people pleasing often has less to do with being liked and more to do with seeking safety, belonging, and protection from rejection, disappointment, conflict, or abandonment
Many women learn to become emotional caretakers, helpers, healers, and peacemakers from a young age - carrying responsibility for everyone else's wellbeing whilst slowly disconnecting from their own
Over-responsibility is often a hidden form of self-abandonment, leaving women exhausted, burnt out, resentful, disconnected from their bodies, and unsure of what they truly need or desire
The people pleaser often believes love must be earned through usefulness, self-sacrifice, caregiving, or carrying more than her share - yet true belonging can never be earned through performance
Rewilding is not about becoming selfish, rebellious, or uncaring - it is about reclaiming the inner Wolf Mother who fiercely protects our energy, wellbeing, truth, boundaries, desires, and aliveness
Healing begins when we stop offering all of our protection outward and start turning some of that fierce love inward, learning to mother ourselves with the same devotion, compassion, and care we naturally offer the people we love most

Resources and Things that We Spoke About: